Self-Care

Written by Esther Allison

A crisis interrupts the rhythm of our everyday lives. The energy we would normally use to take care of ourselves becomes redirected into managing the crisis. If a crisis becomes chronic it can wear us down and deplete our energy: mind, body and soul. This is why it is so important to practice self-care.

There is a popular misconception that self-care is about trips to the spa, a night out, or a tropical vacation. While self-care may include some of those things, the goal of true self-care is about taking care of yourself so that you will have the energy and strength needed to care for the people and causes that are important to you.  

To take care of others, we must first take care of ourselves or we will burn out and won’t be able to take care of our loved ones well.

Here are a few quick self-care suggestions if you’re in a crisis:

1. Start with the basics.

Am I eating well? Am I prioritizing some rest? This sounds simple, but if you are in a crisis you likely know how easy it is to forget the small, self-care items that we’d normally do without thinking. If you are struggling to remember to eat and sleep, try setting reminders on your smartphone and even if you don’t feel like it, eat something or get some rest. If your crisis doesn’t permit a full night’s sleep, ensure that you take a catnap when you can to refuel yourself. The mind/body connection is huge, so anything you can do to take care of your personal health and wellbeing will benefit your mental health as well.

2. Ask for what you need.

Most of us would prefer to be on the giving end of help, rather than the receiving end so it may require us to swallow our pride to let people know what we need. Most family and friends want to be of help but are unsure what to do. Put them to work by accepting offers of help for practical tasks like taking your dog for a walk, cutting the grass, shovelling your driveway etc. The saying that “many hands make light work” is so true. You don’t need to go through a crisis alone.

3. Clarify what is important to you in this season.

It’s easy to become overwhelmed by the enormity of a crisis. When we are overwhelmed, it can be hard to know how to prioritize our time. Taking a few moments to reflect on what is most important to you in this season, can help you more confidently move in the direction of your values. 

While everything may feel important, clarifying your values can help you understand what actually is most important to you in a crisis. For example, having an immaculate house may feel important and maybe pre-crisis, keeping a spotless home was of great importance to you. However, if it requires you to be cleaning until midnight and leaves you exhausted and depleted, it may be helpful to reprioritize what is most needed or helpful in your current situation: Cleanliness? Or rest? 

When you’re trying to determine your values-based decisions, it may be helpful to pause and ask yourself: What is driving this decision/action? For example, is it fear, guilt or anxiety? Or is it my values: love, courage, family, rest etc. Making choices that move you toward self-care is always a helpful choice to avoid burnout.

Obviously, this is not an exhaustive list. I’d encourage you to take a few minutes to write down some of your own ideas. What does self-care look like for you?  Remember: practicing self-care activities are choices that give you the strength and endurance needed to care well for others. Finding even one or two self-care practices that you can start incorporating into your day, can help you find a new healthy rhythm in your daily life.